Planning a mental health first aid conversation

As a Mental Health First Aider™, you have learned the theory behind the importance of a mental health first aid conversation. Now you have the skills to recognise the early warning signs and symptoms of a mental health problem in someone you know, it becomes necessary to combine the theoretical with the practical as you reach out and offer support.

How do you put your training and knowledge into use and have a mental health first aid conversation? The secret lies in preparation.

Here are some tips to help you prepare for a mental health first aid conversation.

Pick your moment

When it comes to initiating a mental health conversation, it’s important that you have adequate  time to listen, focus and respond to the person in front of you.

Acknowledging that, don’t initiate a mental health first aid conversation if deadlines, appointments, or other obligations have the potential to cut short or intrude on the conversation.

That way, you create a distraction-free space with the flexibility to take as much time as necessary to complete the conversation.

Ensure you have the capacity

When preparing for a mental health first aid conversation, your principal focus should be on establishing connection and offering support to the person you are concerned about. That includes ensuring we have the emotional capacity to be there for the person and an understanding that the person may not be ready or willing to talk to us.

Check in with yourself before initiating a conversation, asking yourself:

• Are you in the right frame of mind to discuss potentially emotional or stressful topics?
• How is your mood? Are you stress-free?

Choose the venue

When planning to initiate a conversation about mental health, consider where that conversation will take place:

• Is it likely that you’ll be interrupted, disrupted and distracted?
• Is this space calm, neutral, appropriate and conducive to a conversation? E.g. Free from the temptation to use substances.
• Can you talk openly with the appropriate level of privacy?
• Will you both feel welcome and safe here?

Consider your language 

It is important that the person we’re concerned about feels safe and supported to disclose and talk openly about any mental health problems they may be experiencing. Creating a safe and supportive space begins by showing a genuine, non-judgemental interest in what they are experiencing and their welfare.

Language plays a significant role in making this happen:

• Use ‘I’ statements over ‘You’ statements. E.g. “I have noticed a change in your behaviour lately” over “You have changed”
• Ask open-ended questions to encourage the conversation. E.g. “What’s that like for you?” over “So you feel sad?”
• Limit comparisons, especially if they have the potential to invite shame. E.g. “How are you coping?” over “You’ve never acted like this before.”

Are you being the person they need?

Establishing the trust and connection required for a mental health conversation, requires more thoughtful consideration than our day-to-day conversational approach, and what might get someone  through a tough day in the office or in their family life, may not be appropriate if they are experiencing a mental health concern.

Consider how you communicate your intentions through both your attitude and words:

• Are you promoting disclosure through a genuinely supportive tone?
• Are you reducing the chance of deflection by avoiding sarcasm and inappropriate humour?
• Are your questions and statements judgement-free?
• Are you able to speak about the problems at hand without dismissing or minimising their impact?
• Are you able to listen without imposing your beliefs, experience and/or your own coping mechanisms?

Make it sustainable

When facilitating a mental health conversation, we may hear or feel things that impact us in ways we didn’t anticipate, and it is important to remember that the safety and well-being of a Mental Health First Aider is as important as the person we’re looking to support.

During the mental health first aid conversation, consider:

1. The impact the length of the conversation may have on you and the person you are talking to. Overly long conversations about stress and/or mental health topics can emotionally fatigue both parties.
2. Normalising and encouraging seeking additional supports as required. Promote the mental health conversation as the starting place, not the final destination.

Having deep and difficult conversations may leave you feeling drained, both physically and emotionally, so it’s important to set aside time to reflect and practice self-care. Self-care techniques include:

1. Writing a reflection or in your journal
2. Taking a walk
3. Engaging in exercise
4. Enjoying quiet time with cup of tea, puzzle, or a book.

Don’t forget to check in with your own emotional thoughts and feelings, especially if you found the topics discussed in your conversation were difficult. And reach out to someone you trust if you need support.

• Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467
• Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36
• Headspace on 1800 650 890